stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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