I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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