Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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