Can Purell be used as lube?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
