they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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