I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
