so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
