Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
