The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
