i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
