member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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