New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Randomize
