Apparently you make a good broom.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
