dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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