theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
