I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
There's even glitter on my cock...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize