This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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