Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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