discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize