I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
