Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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