In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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