If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
