My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize