oh god the rape fog is back!
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
