what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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