Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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