i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
