Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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