The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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