It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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