Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
