You can't special order awesome
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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