i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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