No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
