that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize