I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
