If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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