i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
