??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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