moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize