Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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