Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
