I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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