Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
