Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
