if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
