I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
