is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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