dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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