I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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