Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My breasts were aching with rage.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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