I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Randomize
