You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
