its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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