its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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