waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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