dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
