If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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