Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
