Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
